


Thinking out loud

by insufferablelovebirds



Category: Ed Sheeran (Musician), One Direction (Band)
Genre: Lovebites, M/M, Sarcasm, Wedding, fucking fluff, mentions of bondage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-28
Updated: 2014-07-28
Packaged: 2018-02-06 13:36:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1859967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/insufferablelovebirds/pseuds/insufferablelovebirds
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Ed was stuck in a lyrics rut;  he was behind schedule for recording for his album and the persistent  looming deadline did nothing for his writers block. He tried all the normal techniques, getting drunk, going through old texts from girlfriends, visiting his mother, hanging out with friends, Taylor even offered one of her songs -her babies- for him to use.</p><p>He had bits and pieces of songs all over his flat but none of them fit, he didn't something he wrote three years ago after a one night stand or the notes back and forth from a two month long relationship, he wanted something that represented sturdy, committed love. He set down a pile of papers and pulled out his phone sending a text. He knew where he needed to go."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Thinking out loud

**Author's Note:**

> ***Disclaimer***  
> I have no association with any member of One Direction, Ed Sheeran or family/friends. etc. ( please don't send it to any one who is ) I just admire from afar like the rest of us.  
> This is a work of fiction. Purely from my mind. Nothing is based off fact. ( Thus making it fictional )  
> *  
> Yes I am aware songs are recorded months in advance so this is already off,  
> No I have absolutely no proof TOL is indeed about Louis and Harry, it's fun okay?  
> Yes I'm aware the Rovers deal fell though :( it was still happening when I started writing this and I'd have had to rewrite a lot so I left it .  
> *  
> I think that's everything..enjoy?

  Ed was stuck in a lyrics rut;  he was behind schedule for recording for his album and the persistent  looming deadline did nothing for his writers block. He tried all the normal techniques, getting drunk, going through old texts from girlfriends, visiting his mother, hanging out with friends, Taylor even offered one of her songs -her babies- for him to use.

He had bits and pieces of songs all over his flat but none of them fit, he didn't something he wrote three years ago after a one night stand or the notes back and forth from a two month long relationship, he wanted something that represented sturdy, committed love. He set down a pile of papers and pulled out his phone sending a text. He knew where he needed to go.

    _  
_

"Hey Ed! Come on in mate." Louis smiled brightly silencing the alarm and gesturing him inside. "Haz! Ed's here!. How've you been?" 

"Pretty good, you?" Ed asked shrugging out of his jacket and toeing off his shoes, strict rules in the Tomlinson house. 

"Good, great actually, we just got back from holiday and have been laying low for a couple of days." Louis did look good, better than the last time Ed had seen him, a golden sheen  to his skin, his blue eyes bright, dressed in trackies and what appeared to be one of Harry's shirts, his shoulders were high and his demeanor relaxed. 

Ed nodded, Louis had charged him with the duty of throwing Harry off his trail while he planned a couple of weeks away on some remote island for  Harry's twentieth birthday. "Jamaica right? "

Louis beamed,  nodding. "It's brilliant there, so quiet and beautiful ."

"We had a cabana on a deserted strip of beach with a fully stocked kitchen," Harry had joined them, gripping Ed into a rib crushing hug and steering him to the sitting room, sitting him a plush chair in front of a large fireplace . "We saw maybe three people the whole time. They were a bit down he beach, complained about the music." 

Louis came in carrying a beer for Ed. "Well it was either music or us getting arrested and I really didn't fancy that." he settled himself on the couch next to Harry who automatically curled into his side. 

"Best birthday ever." Harry said dreamily, sighing into Louis neck.

The three had just gotten into a heated discussion about the season final of _Breaking Bad_ when Louis phone went off, buzzing loudly on the glass topped coffee table, he and Harry exchanged looks - that weird talking with their eyes thing- before Louis left the room excusing himself to Ed. Harry watched him go, a minuscule  frown him his lips.

"What is it?' Ed asked watching over his beer bottle rim. Harry blinked as if remembering Ed was present.

"You know Lou's home town team? The Rovers?"

Ed nodded, Louis undying devotion was talked about and the fact he just contracted to play with them for charity was still making it's rounds on Twitter.

"He's trying to work out a deal to buy them- or at least a share of the league- he wants them to thrive and invest at the same time."

Ed raised his eyebrows, impressed. "Using business skills and star power at the same time, not bad."

Harry nodded. "The G.O.Bs aren't making it easy, making loopholes where it voids some shit in the contract and trying to make him compromise."

"Luckily you have good lawyers." Ed chuckled tipping his head.

Harry smiled, curling his feet under his legs. "Jeff's been wondrous with advice, I may be exploiting him for his generosity with legal terms and second looks."

"Could be considered payback from December." they never mentioned what happened with Harry during his " _December girlfriend_ " stunts since 2011, it was too hard for him to brush it off, especially so soon.

Harry shrugged. "Wasn't that bad this year, Kendall didn't want to be in it in the first place- her mum's idea , she told me, the few times we actually spoke - so it was easier, she was on the fast track from the first  dinner, the rest was just sitting out."

Ed stayed silent, he never understood how Harry could do this and still remain so upbeat, how he could stand seeing himself connected to various women half he'd never met and just let the comments flow off his shoulders. _Suppose time hardens us_. Ed thought remembering talking to Harry right after he had to "go out with" some model and be caught kissing, he remembers how he heard the tears in Harry's voice the moment Ed asked if he was alright after seeing the pictures. Harry's timid _'yeah, I'm okay. wasn't that bad, her perfume was awful though._ ' the thickness in voice cutting off the weak attempt at a chuckle, as Louis muttered something in the background. How awful Ed had felt for the boy, he was so young and caught up in so many things. Even more now.

"It's good for him." Harry said softly, looking out the door way to where Louis was pacing. "Having control over something, not having to worry about the backlash for me or the boys."

Harry looked young, so young caught up in the worry. 

"He's so far down, he was losing himself." Harry glanced at Ed. He always was one to share feelings to anyone near, but even Ed had only heard him talk about Louis welfare a very few times, those worries where kept either to himself or to his mother. "Last year was so hard, he just shut himself away and wouldn't let me in for a long time. LA was a blessing. Those two weeks were heaven it was like a re-connection? We hadn't gotten a chance to _just be_ for a while and we just talked for hours like we use to, it wasn't even the sex-"

"Did Harry Styles; Lover of penis jokes, asses  and Louis Tomlinson just say it _'wasn't even the sex_ '? I think I'm dreaming." Ed desperately wanted to lighten the mood, the frown engulfing Harry's face was painful to look at, frowns didn't suit him. 

Harry smiled brightly, eyes twinkling. "Oh, don't get me wrong  the sex was _fantastic,_ otherworldly even. I  mean, we did things I forgot were possible and loads of chocolate sauce - I still haven't gotten the stains out of the hall carpet."

Ed held up a hand with a grimace. "Ok, ok I get it you have a great sex life, no need to rub it in." Harry's dimples stood out from his smile. "But, talking is good, yeah? I assume you two are better now?"

Harry nodded smile dimming slightly but staying intact. "Yeah, it was rough for a while -not us but in general, except the whole fiasco with Cal, contracts- but we all managed. The break is helping a lot. The trip was prefect, I can't even describe how much we needed that, visiting for the weekend in LA has nothing on waking up together at noon with  almost nothing but the crashes of the sea."  Harry watched Louis pace, a soft laugh coming from the other room made Harry's eyes actually sparkle. 

"He just bottles it up, always has. He'll talk to me or the other boys if he needs to think something out but we still only get half of whats bothering him, then he'll blame himself if it goes wrong. It's maddening sometimes. "

"What's maddening?" Louis asked dropping back on the couch. "Don't you have to go out for a bit?"

"You, darling and yes."

Louis hummed. "I should hope you talk about me in my absent. Wear that awful shirt you got."

 "After all this time we should? The yellow one?" Harry rolled his eyes at Ed.

"Always." Louis said dramatically dropping his head into Harry's lap, banging his knee on the edge of the couch."Damn it. Yes the yellow one " he rubbed his knee.

"You two are incredible saps." Ed stated.

Harry grinned at him. "Your knee?" he asked Louis. 

"Fine." Louis said curtly, falling back onto Harry's lap again. "Tell me Harry, will you still love me when my legs don't work like they did when I was young and spry?"

Lines flashed across Eds vision, his  eyes traveled to the picture on the hearth of One Directon's first picture as a group, and another one where Louis had Harry on his back, smiling brightly at the camera _..._ perfect.

Harry hummed oblivious  to Ed's minor epiphany. "Well it's be easier to keep track of you for sure but really it depends on is will you still love me when my hairs gone, I  forget your one sixteenths Belgium and I wear fake teeth ?"

"Of course." Louis scoffs. "But what would it be like to kiss you with fake teeth."

"I guess it would taste like denture cream?"

Louis made a face and sat up. "I guess I'll have to memorize your taste before you start tasting like an old man."

Harry made a noise of disgust and stood, Louis  smiled and kissed Harry causing both dimples to appear and his eyes crinkle before giving him a smack on the ass. "Go get dressed."

"Alright Ed?" Louis asked frowning at him upside down on the couch.

Ed shook himself. "Yeah, I'm good.

"Up for some Fifa?" Louis asked after calling goodbye to Harry.

 "How do you two do it?" Ed blurt out as Louis set up the game.

Louis graced him with a glance waiting as Ed chose his player. "It's hard." he said finally. "Bloody hard. When we fight about work it  sometimes seems nearly impossible."

Ed kept his eyes on the game. Louis never opened up it was always the customary 'It's hard but it's worth it'. Louis played easily scoring two goals in succession.

"When he went to L A in January, we fought before he left, stupid things that had built up the house, the car, stupid things. Anyway he called me two days later and just went on and on about this set of antiquated baby furniture he'd found at some hipster shop, he would wake up early his time just to call and say good morning  and when I flew out to see him landing at like three in the morning he was sitting up waiting for me with a cup of tea,  just waiting to see me showed me the house he was thinking about buying,- always for _us_ , for the future-   even when we have a massive row, just take everything and blow up at each other he never dims from _what  will be_ he'll talk about kids and what tattoos he wants to get when we're out, like it's never a doubt and I know he does doubt.

It hits me every time. Every future he has planned includes me. All of them. Like he can't even imagine life with me in it. It's a touch overwhelming at times until I realize I've gone done the same thing. Every future I can scarcely imagine has him at the center. No matter what the outcome is for  for our families, the band, for our music, for coming out  all of them he is the center. It's like I can't even image my life without him, I want to spend every day of the rest of my life with him. I want to grow old with him when when I'm seventy and senile I want him next to me. I want to have a family with him. I want to kiss him right on stage in front of thousands of peoples lights,  under the stars , he makes me proud of who I am, He makes me proud of _love_ for Gods sake, and maybe this is part of some plan to make us appreciate what we have or something. But as soppy as it sounds I fall in love with him every single bloody day, just as hard as I did at eighteen. 

So yeah it's hard, but all in all just waking up next to him, holding his hand, kissing him goodnight, hearing his voice over the phone when he's away saying _I love you_ , makes it worth it." 

Ed was silent, knew Louis loved Harry as much or more but hearing him spill it all left him speechless.

"Mate are you even trying?" Louis asked pressing for a re match .

"Sorry." Ed said shaking himself. 

"Damn." Louis said as Ed won. "I'd offer another round but I've got a few calls to make..."

"No, yeah, that's fine. Great."  Ed ran a hand through his hair.

"Help yourself to anything in the fridge - except the rhubarb and the greek yogurt, that's Harry's morning shakes for this week, They're disgusting honestly - yeah you know where everything is ." Louis shrugged, standing up.

"Yeah, thanks so much."

"No problem mate, really. There's a few new movies we haven't gotten around to..."

"Actually, would it be too much trouble to borrow The Room?" Ed bit his bottom lip, Louis had installed a fully working recording studio in the basement of the house, knowing however long they would be living here they needed a place to record, somewhere away from prying, controlling eyes. He'd recorded the demo first drafts of _Strong_ down in that room, Harry had penned many the song down there as well the five of One Direction had gathered down there to put the finishing touches on so many songs many had never seen light.

"Oh, yeah, of course! Go ahead,it's all yours.  Just make sure you check the tape. Haz was down there the other night."

"Will do. Thanks again." 

Louis gave him a smile and left the room tapping out a number of his phone. Ed stretched and wondered though the house, The Room was on the opposite  side of the house from the sitting room, the walls of the hall  were full of pictures carefully hung in polished frames. Private pictures of Louis and Harry together going back to the baby faced boys from the X factor and more recently smiling softly at the camera or each other, more than a few held group shots of Harry's family with Louis and Jay, a few contained even  Louis sisters but none were recent. Pictures of the other boys were scattered within the family shots all sorts of combinations of them and their families and more than a few of just the five of them together sprawled on a couch game controllers in hand, candid shots of them dressed to the nines before an award show , at a table together obviously sharing a meal.

Ed smiled at the pictures, and trailed his hand against the warm golden walls as he neared the room, stopping to chuckle at the post it note stuck to the door reminding everyone the room was soundproof in Harry's hand writing complete with a smiley face. It was a small room - originally it had been a den before the tore it apart and rebuilt it- a small sound panel stood in front of a tiny recording area not much bigger than a large  walk in shower. Guitars, keyboards, a violin and even a banjo line the walls folding chairs were stacked in a pile. Ed checked the tape in the recording and selected a small guitar - his favorite when Harry invited him over to jam, he had spent almost a year trying to convince Ed to take it since he liked it so much, that he preferred the larger ones. He stepped into the booth and got lost in the music as he perfected the melody.

About half way though his second draft he caught something out of the corner of his eye. Harry was leaning against the door frame, arms crossed smirk lurking on his lips.

"How's it going?" He asked once Ed took off the headphones, he reached for the play button but Ed slapped his hand away.

"Not done yet." Harry raised his eyebrows smiling, raising his hands in surrender.

"Dinner will be ready in about five minutes." 

Ed shook his nodded. "Yeah, sorry I'll get out of here just let me-"

"Mate, your staying for dinner it's already planned, I've made enough for three."

"I don't want to be a bother." Ed protested.

Harry laughed. " You're not, we have to rejoin the world at some point. It's nice to have someone to talk to that we don't have to hide."

 

Ed left The Room a few minutes later walking slowly through the house, soft music was playing. Coming from the kitchen. Ed paused at the door just out of sight. Louis and Harry were entwined, Louis arms around Harry's neck, his head resting on Harry's shoulder, lips against his throat. Harry's head resting on top of Louis arms  tight around his waist  not letting an inch between their bodies swaying softly in a circle to the music.

"What are you smiling about?" Harry said, his voice had taken on that soft, fond tone people had named the _Louis fond voice_.

"Nothing, I can hear your heartbeat is all." Louis said in a matching tone.

"Beats for you, you know. Always for you." Harry said lowly. Louis reached down  as the song ended and pinched his nipple; hard. "Ow! what was that for." Harry nearly squeaked.

"Gettin' too sappy Styles." Louis shook his head. " ' _beats for you_ '? Are you serous?" 

" 'm a song writer _Lewis_ what do you expect?"

Louis huffed. "I expect you not to make me want to suffocate myself with stuffed animals being around you."

"Why would you do that?! You'll scar the poor stuffed animals for life!"

The fridge door closed with a thud. "Oh my god what is wrong with you? I want a divorce."

Ed decided now would be a good time to join them, Louis was leaning against the fridge a glass of wine in hand, a amused smile playing at his lips. Harry stood with a plate of bread sticks in one hand the other on his hip.

"Fine..oh wait, we're not married."

Louis rolled his eyes, gathering silverware. "Call of the engagement then you nutter, save a load of money on planning the damned thing."

"Ha!" Harry said he was now pulling plates down and setting them on the table. "What is saving money exactly? Mr. Life Sized Spider Man figurine for the game room?"

Louis dropped the silverware and slipped his arms around Harry's neck. Ed really wondered if they knew was in the room or if they were just ignoring him at this point, it wouldn't be the first time. 

"You go too far when you insult my superhero crap, darling" he bit down sharply on Harry's neck, Harry winced but gripped Louis hips tighter.

"I was just joking love, you know that."

Louis hummed as he sucked on Harry's neck making the bite bloom to a bright red. "I know." he winked and let go of Harry. "Ed are you going to stand by the door the whole night? You might see something you don't want too at this rate."

Ed snorted claiming a bar stool as Harry offered him wine. "Its not like I haven't seen things already, mate that was soft porn right there." 

Harry placed a pot of some lemony garlic smelling  pasta on the counter next to the bread sticks.

"We've done worse in from of our mums." Louis said sitting down across from Harry.

Harry dished out the pasta. "Not that much worse."

"I find that hard to believe." Ed said as Louis snorted into his wine.

 

They were laid out on the couches Harry had his head on Louis shoulder  on one and Ed was sprawled out on the other, the tv playing some music video count down.

Louis sighed and pet Harry's head. "Well younglings I'm off to bed."

Ed rolled his eyes. "I'm still older than you." 

"By months." Louis scoffed. "Besides you don't have this thing ageing you either. Do you know hard it is to keep up with kids nowadays?" he pat Harry's knee while he giggled.

"Penis jokes." Harry explained. Louis looked at him with distaste shaking his head and standing.

"g'night Ed. See you in the morning." Harry leaned his head over the back of the couch, wrapping his arms around Louis waist and looking up at Louis. 

"I'll be up soon yeah?" Harry  muttered when Louis leaned down. 

"Don't be too long though." Louis said with a soft smile. "I'll fall asleep."

Louis gave a harry a chaste kiss. "You're still eighteen to me." Harry whispered. "You'll never grown old." Louis smiled widely , eyes crinkling. 

"I love that smile." Harry sighed when Louis had gone up. "That's the same smile I got in the toilet, the one that made my heart stop. I'll never forget it, that moment, the feeling. When we're apart I dream about it, its pathetic. " 

"Did you know?" Ed asked. Harry rolled his head to look at him, eyes glazed, he might have been a bit drunk at this point. "That he was the one or whatever."

Harry smiled. "I think I did, I just didn't want to accept people fell in love that fast is such weird ways, you know? I mean I've always been a bit of  a dreamer but a ridiculously fit boy meets you in the toilet and you feel an instant connection seems a bit wild. But this is better more mysterious or whatever."

Ed hummed. Harry stretched and stood. "I'm going up, guest rooms all yours."

"Thanks mate." Harry gave him a smile and stumbled up stairs.

*

Ed woke the smell of coffee, he rolled his neck and shook out his shirt before setting the bed and tip toeing down stairs, peeking in the kitchen intending to wave a good bye.

"Morning." Louis said brightly. He was critiquing a slice of bacon. "Reckon this is done?"

Ed shrugged and leaned against the door frame. As Harry walked in covered in a thing sheen of sweat.

"Lou, your dripping grease everywhere." he whined snatching the bacon from him and popping it in his mouth. "Good job, not burnt."

Louis made a face at him before turning to Ed. "Want to stay for breakfast? I mean food real not that mess." he nodded towards where Harry had an assortment of fruits and  vegetables spread across the counter, busily chopping and scooping them into the blender.

"It's healthy, _Lewis._ You wouldn't be so _old_ if you had some." Harry chirped waving  a celery stalk at him. 

"Bugger off bloodly hipster, I'll eat something mildly healthy later, like a whole wheat pizza ."

"Only if I make you." 

"Guess you'll have to then."

"Maybe I'll tie you up and force you to eat a green tea  smoothly with antioxidants." Harry chewed a apple slice thoughtfully.

Louis raised his eyebrows crossing his arms. "That's all you'll do if you tie me up?"

Harry gave him a devious smirk. "I never said that."

Ed cleared his throat loudly. "Yeah, No thanks Louis, I've got a meeting in about forty-five minutes."

"Okay, next time, yeah?" Louis said turning away from Harry and handing Ed a to go cup full of hot coffee.

Harry walked him to the door, giving him a slightly sweaty hug. "Sorry we weren't much help with the song writing thing." 

Ed laughed. "Trust me, you were loads of help."

Harry gave him a curious look before shaking his head and waving him off.

*

*

Harry was just plugging him phone before bed when it lit up with a text, normally he would have ignored it until the morning but it was Ed flashing with an urgent red banner.

"Ed sent an audio file with ' _listen and let me know what you think ASAP'_." Harry said crawling up Louis legs, already tucked into bed. He settled between his legs, his back to Louis chest. Louis hummed setting down his iPad and tapping the screen of Harry's phone. A guitar thrummed though the tiny speaker  followed shortly by Ed's voice. Harry thread his fingers through Louis and his grip got tighter with every verse.

"Did you?" he asked pressing his lips to all of Louis knuckles once the file ended.

"No, did you?" Louis was struggling to find an emotion to sit on with the song.

"No." Harry said slowly. Typing out a message for Ed _. Loved it ._ "Ed wants to know if it's okay to use on his album."

"Definitely." Louis murmured. "I love you." he added pressing a kiss to Harry's head.

"Love you more." Harry replied.

*

* 

Ed stood at the mic in front of less than two hundred people snugly fit under the canvas walls of the tent , guitar slug across his back, glass of champagne in hand. "Nearly three  years ago now, I needed inspiration for a love song, so I went to the best couple I knew. Those two idiots front and center."

Ed gestured to where Harry and Louis stood arms around each other smiles almost breaking their faces in their matching suits, Harry's head scarf glittering in the soft light. "Now, they've been my inspiration many times before, because they stood for conquering , for sureness, for love. So I spent a day with them listening to them wax poetry  about and at  each other and came up with a little song for my album. Now Harry always got emotional with the song, but he does that a lot."

"Heyyyyy!" Harry cut in. Ed waved him off with a laugh.

"But I never knew why, they wouldn't tell me what it was about this song and I couldn't for the life of me figure it out - I even dove into the lagoon that is their thriving fan base , but all that got me was it was about them.-  I had no idea why this song meant so much to them until today. Until I learned I practically wrote a song using their future wedding vows."

He raised the glass everyone in the tent following suit. "You sentimental idiots deserve this entirely." Ed watched as a tear traced down Harry's face, Louis kissing it away while Harry thumbed away the wetness from Louis own eyes, the smiles never leaving their faces as they wrapped their arms around each other as the guests cheered, Niall throwing out a wolf whistle and being hushed by Liam and Zayn.

 Ed put out the first few chords on the guitar. "You have fought from day one to be together and free while still living  your dream  and I'm happy for both of you.You deserve this and so much more.

Thanks for letting me sleep on your couch and giving me the honor of preforming the first song. This is [Thinking Out Loud](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AsK7qDq_PyA)."

 

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr : impeccablelove9194


End file.
